The following is my response to her blog, the people who read it, and anybody that finds themselves losing focus of what is really important about true Christianity.

I thought I would interject my viewpoint on this topic.

First a little back story on me. I was born and raised Baptist, and currently attend a non-denominational church called “The Pursuit” in Boise, ID. I was married to an LDS lady for the better part of 10 years before she decided she didn’t want to be a part of the relationship anymore. I believe this gives me insight into the LDS beliefs that not a lot of non-Mormons have. Obviously I have my own opinions on what Mormons believe; however, I plan to stay close to the subject matter that was brought up since that is the only thing being discussed.

As for Noel’s decision to wear a cross, it’s her decision and hers alone. I’m sure if it was in violation of anything the LDS church taught, she wouldn’t, but as most have pointed out, and I will affirm from what I know, there is nothing that states it isn’t allowed. Noel isn’t somebody that takes her beliefs or the direction of her church leadership lightly. We’ve had many discussions about our respective beliefs and I’ve found her to have nothing but the utmost respect for the tenets of her faith and the people that lead and guide her church.

I also have a different view concerning the opinion that the cross is a symbol of suffering and death and therefore should not be something to dwell on. To me, there are 3 points of view, two of them, the LDS and Catholic, have been covered here already. I’ve never been a fan of the Catholic crucifix, for the simple reason that it still shows Jesus on the cross, suffering, bleeding, and half dead. While this was the pivotal moment in Christian history, I would rather remember that He is not in that state anymore.

When I look at a “protestant” cross with no Jesus hanging on it, it is a reminder to me that though Jesus did suffer and die on that cross, He isn’t there anymore. He’s not subject to an imperfect body that can be tortured and killed anymore. I like to remember that the cross is empty. I like to remember that Jesus beat death that day on the cross. It wasn’t done until He died, and He died on the cross. Therefore, for me, and many of my non-Mormon, non-catholic Christian friends, the cross isn’t a symbol of torture and death; it is a symbol of ultimate victory.

Now this isn’t to say that we elevate the symbol of the cross above the deity of God. Far from it actually. Just because this is a symbol that is known worldwide for being associated with the Christian church as a whole, it is just that, a symbol. To elevate it beyond such would be akin to building a golden calf. We don’t worship the cross; we use it as a symbol for the reasons outlined in the previous paragraph, and by doing so, make ourselves identifiable throughout the world.

The interesting thing to me is that the LDS have something that I would consider to be similar to the cross in its association. I had to verify this with Noel, but I was fairly certain that there was a statue of the angel Moroni on every LDS temple. She confirmed this, with the exception of the temples that have to meet certain building codes. Now if the argument is that the cross is a symbol of non-LDS Christianity, I could certainly press the issue that the statue is the symbol of the LDS religion. However, that would be just as incorrect as the assumption about the cross. The statue of Moroni adorns your temples for the same reasons the cross adorns my church buildings, etc. It’s not to glorify that particular symbol, but rather to serve as a reminder when it is seen of an important occurrence in whatever belief system you hold to.

While I could go on and on about things like this, just ask Noel, I will end on this note. There are many issues in every religion that can be debated fiercely but should not divide people who hold to the same beliefs. The example of Noels cross is a good one. While some LDS people think that you should not wear one, some think it’s perfectly fine. Their reasons are their own and as long as their decision doesn’t violate any of the church’s standing tenets, it shouldn’t be a big deal.

I decided instead to just make a little list of things that happened this year in the order they happened without all of the detail the other post contained.  Without further ado, here it is, 2008 in a nutshell.

• I got a divorce
• I started new, deeper relationships with my boys
• I got to live with my sister for about 2.5-ish months, it was good
• I met the most amazing woman in the most amazing way
• I spent around 4k-5k minutes on the phone with Rhoni in maybe 2-3 months (both AT&T so it was “free” …woot!!)
• On Fathers Day, I talked to my Dad for the first time since 2002 and more than I had talked to him in the previous 11 years
• At the end of June, I traveled to Indianapolis and got to meet Rhoni and make plans to move her to Boise
• At the end of July I flew, one way, to Indianapolis, helped pack a car, drove to Missouri to pick up Rhoni’s son, and drove us all back to Idaho
• In the middle of August, I saw my Dad for the first time since 2002 when he came to visit
• On September 15th, Rhoni and me attended The Pursuit for the first time
• Mid -October, I was moved from St. Lukes to the Diocese of Boise
• Somewhere in October, Rhoni realized that God still loved her and was pursuing a relationship with her, this was the highlight of my year and one of the most amazing things for me to witness in my life
• Attended the Membership 101 class at The Pursuit
• Rhoni and I decided that we needed to set a good example for our kids & friends by living godly lives and made the changes needed to fulfill that need
• Planning a wedding, unofficially at this point
• My first Thanksgiving with my “restored & new” family
• Calling my future Father-in-law on Christmas Eve to ask permission to marry his daughter
• Proposing to Rhoni at Grandmas house and hearing her say, “Yes”
• My first Christmas with my “restored & new” family

2008 was probably the hardest and most wonderful year in my life up to this point.  I watched my marriage of 10 years end, I watched a father reconcile with his mother & daughter, I spent my first holidays ever away from my kids, I met the woman of my dreams in World of Warcraft, I felt the separation that 2400 miles creates, I found an amazing church and an even more amazing church family, and lastly, and most importantly, I was shown what a loving and faithful God we have.

The gifts that God has given me this year have far outweighed the trials I’ve had to go through.  He gives me these gifts, not because I deserve them, not because He has to, but because He loves me in a crazy, insane way.

God is faithful…thats the bottom line.

Hi All:

As most of you know I work for MotivePower, Inc. here in Boise. For those of you who aren’t sure what exactly it is that we do, we manufacture custom locomotives as well as refurbish and maintain existing locomotives. It is an awesome company to work for! With that said, we are up against a bit of a challenge. Not just we “MotivePower” but we “The United States”. I am asking for all of you to provide some support and take a stand on the issue at hand.

MotivePower has presented Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority (MBTA) with a bid for 28 new MP40 diesel electric locomotives with options for up to a total of 56 locomotives. MotivePower’s proposal complies with all Federal Transit Administration guidelines, specifically Buy America. Buy America is a Federal regulation which requires any purchases made with United States tax dollars be spent in the United States to benefit our economy and put our tax dollars back where they came from. On September 3, MBTA requested a Public Interest Waiver from the FTA to purchase these locomotives from a company in Spain, Vossloh Espana S.A.. Their claim is that the waiver would be “in the public interest.
” If that is not perspicuous enough, sending our tax dollars out of the country is not in the publics’ best interest!!

I am sending you the link where you can leave comments. Please take some time to send MBTA and the FTA the message that our tax dollars are our tax dollars and we want them to stay in the United States. The option to comment is only open for a few days so please make this a priority.
It won’t take long to flood the inboxes of the appropriate parties but it will make a big impression!!

http://www. regulations. gov/search/search_results. jsp?N=0&Ntk=P_DocumentId&Ntx=mode+matchall&Ntt=FTA-2008-0047-0004&sid=11D2656B7E38

Some key points to think about and address:

If this waiver is granted it is highly likely that European companies could result in the loss of US jobs as well as the loss of key technical capabilities within our manufacturing sector.

The MBTA contract asks for “service proven” locomotives.
MotivePower has 100+ service proven locomotives whereas Vossloh has a design, a picture, not a locomotive!

Barbara Boxer, a Senator from California was speaking recently about how the United States has outsourced the majority of technological manufacturing. If we outsource this, it is just one more thing the US will not have the ability to build.

As a single mother of two boys, my job is of the utmost importance! I am extremely fortunate to have a monthly income and grateful that I can provide for my boys. If we allow for things like this to happen to our tax dollars and our jobs without putting forth the minimal effort required in composing a brief statement, luxuries like a job may not continue for many, many people.

Please forward this on to as many people as you can.
Your support is immeasurable!!

Thanks to all,

Joy A. Wilkins
Assistant to the Director, Project Management
MotivePower, Inc.
A Wabtec Company

The biggest thing of course was my visit to Indy to “meet” this girl that I’m planning on sharing my life with.  It was an amazing trip and it did nothing but strengthen the relationship that was already blooming and make us want more.  During that week we found out how well we fit with each other and were both continually amazed at how marvelously we “worked” as a couple.  We decided at that point that we needed to take the proverbial “next step” and preferably end up in the same time zone.  The decision was made to move Rhoni out here either shortly before, or shortly after my return to Boise on June 30, 2008.

The wheels started turning and we started trying to figure how we were going to pull off the biggest move either of us had ever attempted.  It was a total of about 1900 miles and crossed multiple states.  We checked the cost on trucks and decided that wasn’t a possibility at the time just based on the price.  The next idea was to have her drive out here and either fly TheKid back to Indy, to Boise, or pick him up on the way.  Again, the option that made sense was to pick him up on the way.  After another female friend lambasted me for even thinking of letting her drive out here with just her and TheKid, I decided I would fly back and “escort” them to their new home.

She is fortunate enough to have an awesome brother-in-law that offered to meet us halfway with TheKid so that we didn’t have to drive 6-7 hours out of our way to pick him up.  It was the least expensive for me to fly out there on July 31, so we set a move date of Aug 1-4.  The plan was for me to fly in on the 31st, finish up around the apartment on the 1st, and head out on the 2nd.  Well, for the most part that works, except we’re leaving after the inspection at 1pm on the 1st and driving to Springfield, Missouri where we will be meeting Rhoni’s sister, bro-in-law, their kid, and TheKid.  We’ll head out from there, with him in tow this time on the morning/early afternoon of August 2nd.

So this is the last of a lot of things tonight…

…the last webcam chat over skype.

…the last “goodnight” over the phone.

…the last night we’ll spend apart.

…the last morning we’ll wake up without each other.

…the last morning we’ll need to call to say “Good Morning” and “I love you”.

The following weeks and months will be filled with firsts, we’ve already had a few when I went to visit, but heres a few I’m looking forward to…

…the move

…meeting the Sister and bro-in-law and their little girl

…meeting TheKid

…walking in the front door of our house and saying “Welcome home”

…the first night we spend in OUR house

…the first family dinner with all 5 of us

…furniture shopping

…coming home to each other after a tiring day at work

The list could go on for a long time, but I’ll stop there.  Before I close, I want to reaffirm my belief that God has placed Rhoni in my life for a reason.  I will love her as best I can, support her when she needs it, and try my best every day to be the best “spouse” I can be to her.  I have no doubt that the decisions we made were the right ones for us to make, and will live life free of regret over chances not taken.

It’s late, I’m tired, and I have a busy weekend ahead of me, so I’ll say goodnight from “my” room one last time, the next time I write, it will be from “our” room and “our” house.  Cya later. =D

and I love her,

with every fiber,

every ounce,

and every part of my being,

for everything she was,

is,

and will be.

I thought I could handle it…

I couldn’t…

Tonight I felt the most intense feeling of fear and uncertainty I’ve ever, ever felt. I can’t even describe the feeling except to say it was so crushing and so overwhelming I almost couldn’t breathe. While I was chatting via webcam with a loved one when she tells me that the tornado warning sirens are going off. I can actually hear them. We don’t have those in Idaho, mainly because we don’t have super severe weather. Anyway, a few minutes after that, she says, “It just got really, really quiet outside.” About 3-4 minutes after that, I hear the rain over her mic, she says, “I think we have a tornado, I’ll be right back” and walks back into her little boys room. As soon as she did that, the webcam went dark and she went offline on chat.

The next 5-10 minutes were horrible. I didn’t know what was going on…I was 1800 miles away from somebody I love and I had no idea what was happening. I could do nothing but pray, watch the weather channel(is it possible to break a refresh button?), and hope to hear something.

I finally texted her, “Are you safe?” just to see if I’d get a response. A couple minutes later, she texted back, “Yeah, just really bad” which did little to reassure me, but at least I got a response. A few minutes after the last text, my phone rang, it was her. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a voice sound sweeter or ever received a more welcome phonecall. We talked for a bit, her telling me about the big storm, me barely able to contain myself. I was feeling a combination of relief, fear, love, separation, and a few other emotions. At one point, all I could get out was “I didn’t like that” because anything else would have caused me to start bawling.

Eventually, the storm passed and I was able to breathe a little easier. We got back on camera and eventually I was able to return to my “pre-storm” blood pressure.

I’ve felt so may things since Rhoni came into my life more intensely than I’ve ever felt them before. I shouldn’t be surprised how intense this feeling was, yet, for some reason, I was. It’s like an old layer of skin has been pulled off, I’ve molted so to speak. The old, dead layer that used to surround me and numb me to things like this has apparently disappeared. While this is most definitely welcome, it also has the side effect of leaving me in positions like I described above. It will be a while until I get used to this whole “feeling” thing, but I expect it to be a very educational ride. As long as I have her with me, I’ll make it just fine.

Change is good…

1. The Foundation

The very beginnings of the home. The foundation provides stability and a firm starting point for the house. Without it, nothing that is built will ever be permanent. When walls are erected, they will be broken down and destroyed by any subtle shift of the ground beneath them. Eventually, without a foundation, even the best built house will collapse into a heap of rubble leaving little, if anything, behind for salvage.

2. The Framework/Walls

If you have a foundation, but you don’t build any walls, you’ll never be able to fill your house with anything. You won’t be able to build a roof to shelter you when it rains, you won’t be able to hang any pictures or do any decorating either. Anything you try to store in the house will be scattered whichever way the wind is blowing and never have any kind of permanence.

3. The Roof

If you build the foundation and the walls, you’ve got a good start, but unless you’re expecting nothing but sunny days, you’ll need a roof. There are different seasons throughout the year in most places, and sometimes it rains, sometimes it snows, and sometimes there is thunder and lightning. Without something solid to protect the walls of your house from these elements, things will get destroyed by the stormy weather outside. Eventually the storms will cause irreversible damage to the walls without a roof, causing them to get wet, to mold, and to eventually collapse in on themselves.

Those are what I see to be the major components of building a house. There is one final component however that is just as important as the other 3, but can be added at any time during the houses lifetime if you have properly built the house. The final component is the interior/exterior decorations. These are the little things that you add to the house to both enhance, and further define its beauty. Pictures on the walls, curtains for the windows, knick-knacks for the shelves, etc. None of these things help the foundation be more solid, the walls to be more stable, or the roof to be more protective, but they serve to make what is already in existence more beautiful for whomever lives in the house.

I’ve recently realized that building a successful relationship is similar to building a house. If you will indulge me, which you kinda have to since it’s my freaking blog, I would like to again, break down the major parts of the imaginary “relationship house”.

1. The Foundation

This is where the relationship house starts. Starting with the light and fluffy stuff that deepens into a strong friendship and builds a firm foundation for the rest of the relationship to be built upon. This is where the initial trust is formed, and also where the 2 people learn about the likes, dislikes, habits(both bad and good), traits, and, as the friendship grows stronger, some of the deeper things about each other. Once the foundation has been laid and is strong enough to build on, we move onto the next component.

2. The Framework/Walls

The next step once the foundation is laid is to start building the next permanent part of the relationship. The framework/walls to me represent all the permanent things that build up a relationship while it’s developing. These walls are always between just the 2 people involved in the construction, but can be sometimes affected by people outside also. I see the walls as being the discovery of who the other person really is, not just the person that everybody sees on the outside, but the person that not everybody gets to know. All the past history, neuroses, life-changing events, and the things that make that person who they are.

3. The Roof

The roof is a unique piece of the “house” in the sense that it gets built at the same time as the framework/walls. The roof serves to close the house off from the outside elements by providing shelter and protection to those underneath it. To me, the roof represents the trust and emotional intimacy that two people need in a relationship. With those two things comes the ability to weather any storm because you know that any rain, debris, or wind will be shut out by the roof. Being able to “hide” with each other underneath this roof represents the ability to talk to each other about absolutely everything that is going on, good, bad or otherwise.

Once the three permanent parts of the house/relationship are built, that brings us to the interior/exterior decorations. As before, these things don’t make the house physically stronger, but they serve to enhance the existing beauty of the relationship and make the subtle details of the relationship stand out more. These decorations to me represent memories that will be made together, significant events in the lives of the two, and other things along those lines. The walls, foundation, and roof all work together to provide a safe place for these decorations where they won’t get swept away but wind, washed away by the occasional rainstorm, or otherwise damaged by the trials that most relationships go through.

And now onto the final, and most important piece of the building process, the cornerstone. The cornerstone is the piece of the house that starts everything. It’s the focal point of what the relationship is built on. For me, this focal point is the relationship I have with Jesus Christ. I want everything I do in the relationship I’m building to follow the example that was set for me by my Savior. I want to have all the humility, all the self-sacrifrice, the absolute and unconditional acceptance of the other person as they are, and most of all, the perfect Love that He first displayed for me. I want to pour these things out on my spouse as if it was blood from my veins. I want to use the example that was set for me and be able to always place the needs of my spouse in front of my own. I want to give myself wholly and completely to this person, so that none of my selfish ambition, pride, or anything else that tells me my needs are more important than those of the other person are allowed to live. I believe that the one thing that was always demonstrated by Jesus was Love…unconditional, absolute, and perfect Love. I believe, with every fiber of my being, that if you attempt to love your other half as Jesus first loved you, that all of the stuff I touched on above will fall into place, and before you know it, from a bare patch of dirt, you’ll see the most beautiful house ever built rise up to the skies and stand forever.

“It is always the simple things that change our lives. And these things never happen when you are looking for them to happen. Life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so. You feel like running, but life is on a stroll. This is how God does things.”

Something had happened here, something special. These two combatants against this evil beast, these two people who had never fought side by side before had done the unthinkable. As they both looked at the dead carcass of the beast they had slain, neither knew what they felt, they just knew it was good. The “Hurrahs” of their wounded cohorts and the many exhortations they received afterwards by numerous friends meant little compared to the bond that had been formed. It was as if, in fighting the beast, alone, but together, these two heroes had formed a bond that surpassed mere camaraderie.

In the days following this triumph, many more battles were fought, and many more evils in all forms were defeated. The pair became closer and eventually realized that the monsters they fought, in all forms, real or imagined, were what had drawn them together. They shared the same quests, enjoyed the same rewards, and were generally content when they journeyed together. But, under the surface, something was growing. A need to progress. To move beyond simple treasure hunting and questing. Something was there, just out of reach, and they had to find out what.

And so began the quest to find the quest. The heroes began doing things they had never done before. They strayed off the beaten paths, they explored exciting, and sometimes frightening new places. Sometimes, they walked alone, sometimes together, but each was always drawn to the other, as if somehow they were looking for the same thing. In time, the two did find what they were looking for…each other. Out heroes realized that they were as the melody and harmony in a song, both different in many ways, but completely complimentary to the other in many respects

Our heroes didn’t know where their paths would lead them or exactly what they would end up in the end, but they knew after all their journeys apart from each other that the way they wanted to travel them was side by side. This unbeatable pair who had overcome so much adversity in their short lives, together realized that whatever lay ahead held no sway over them as long as they could face it with the other by their side. As they set out upon the trail to the next adventure, the pair couldn’t help but think about from where they had come and how quickly their purpose had become apparent, but they still walked on, unafraid of the future.

To be continued…

28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Read this and tell me it’s not encouraging…I dare you!!

I’m hoping at some point to get a permanent reminder of this verse in some form. Just haven’t decided yet. It was, is, and will always be my favorite Bible verse. It has meant more to me in my life than everything.

What it means to me is that no matter how far I fall, no matter how bad the situation, all I have to do is give all my burdens to God and He won’t just make them lighter, He’ll carry them for me, He’ll hold me up when I can’t stand, and He’ll make sure that I have strength to get through ANYTHING this world throws at me. Can you imagine the feeling of relief that assurance gives?

It’s really quite amazing…